Tea Time With Mrs Nesbitt
by SarahCullen17
Summary: I walked to my daughter's room, expecting to find Nessie reading or playing with her dolls. What I saw was Emmett in a tutu." Humorous and cute, featuring Nessie, Mama, Daddy, Uncle Em, and Uncle Jazzy. One-shot. Nominated for a TwiFiction Award.


**Author's Note:** Just a silly idea I had while thinking of an outrageous Emmett story. Because who doesn't love a silly Emmett?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight _or anything related to it. It's all Stephenie Meyer's.

Bella's POV

I walked to my daughter's room, expecting to find my beautiful Nessie reading on her bed or playing quietly with her dolls.

What I saw was Emmett in a tutu.

Not just a tutu, but tights, sparkly high heels, and a princess tiara. They were sitting at Nessie's tea party table, sipping water out of her tea set. Emmett sat up straight--a far cry from his usual slump--and crossed his legs like a lady. His pinky was extended as he sipped at the water.

"I must say, Princess Renesmee, that this tea is most delectable," he said in a flawless Queen-of-England accent.

"Why, thank you, Mrs. Nesbitt," Nessie said politely. "Would you like a scone?"

"Please, your highness," he replied. Nessie put a plastic scone on a delicate china plate and passed it to "Mrs. Nesbitt".

I snorted as Emmett pretended to bite it. Finally deciding to interrupt, I stepped in the door. "Can I get you ladies some real tea?" I offered.

Emmett choked on his water. After coughing for a little while, he composed himself. Sort of. The surprised expression on his face was priceless. "Bella!" he coughed. "You're…uh…home early"

I smiled at my favorite brother-in-law. "Yes," I replied. "I decided I didn't feel like shopping with the girls. However, you could probably take my place, _Mrs. Nesbitt_."

His eyes darkened, and I couldn't resist teasing him more. After all, who ever was lucky enough to see the strongest vampire I knew in a princess-ballerina ensemble? "Has Mr. Nesbitt seen you in that outfit?" I chuckled.

"Yes, and he _loves_ it," Emmett growled.

I snickered. "Uh huh. Nessie, do you want me to make you some real tea?"

"My name is _Princess Renesmee_," she rolled her eyes. "And yes, please."

"Very well, your highness." I curtsied before turning to Emmett. "Mrs. Nesbitt," I acknowledged him before turning to leave.

"Wait, Bella," Emmett said, leaping up quite gracefully in his heels. "I'll be right back, Princess," he said to my daughter. Nessie nodded.

He followed me to the kitchen. "Bella?" he begged. "You don't think I'm a fairy, do you?"

I smirked as I found the tea kettle. "Well, you don't seem to have graduated to glitter, wings, and a magic wand yet."

"Aw, come on, Bells. You know what I mean."

I smiled, playing with him. "I am kind of worried that my daughter is being influenced by a cross-dresser."

"I'm not a cross-dresser! We were just playing tea party!"

"Where did you get the outfit?" I asked him. Might as well make him sweat for a while. If there was anything that Emmett hated, it was someone underestimating his masculinity.

"They're just odds and ends from Alice and Rosalie's closets."

"The tights?" I giggled as I put the kettle on to boil.

"They were from my Superman costume a few Halloweens ago. Jasper, Alice, and I went trick-or-treating." He came and stood beside me, glaring--trying to scare me into sparing the interrogation.

"The heels?" I asked him.

He looked down at the obnoxiously sparkly pink heels. "They're Rose's from the eighties."

"How do you fit in them?"

"I have really tiny feet."

I glanced down at his feet. Wow, he was right. My feet were bigger than his. I had never noticed this about my brother. "The tiara? The tutu?"

"Alice went through a ballet phase about twenty years ago." He looked triumphant at his explanation.

I wasn't about to let him off that easy, though. "You couldn't possibly fit into Alice's tutu, Em."

He stared at his tiny feet, ashamed. "Okay, fine. I added some material and elastic."

I stifled a giggle. "Emmet, you _sew_?"

His golden eyes glanced up at me. "Yeah? So? Oh, come on, Bella. My human mom taught me how to sew in the thirties. It's the only thing I remember about her. It's special to me."

Well, I couldn't argue with that, though the idea of Emmett making a dress made me laugh inwardly. "Uh huh," I said distantly, not really sure what else to say.

"Bells, do you want to know why I'm so willing to cross-dress and speak in a godforsaken British accent?" His eyes and voice pleaded with me. "It's not because I'm a perverted pansy."

I was about to tell him to go ahead, but we were interrupted by the pitter-patter of feet even smaller than Emmett's. Nessie, still in her princess dress, ran to Emmett and pulled on his hand. "Come on, Uncle Em!" she begged.

_Well, at least in real life, he's still "Uncle Em" and not "Mrs. Nesbitt",_ I thought.

"I'll be right there, Princess Renesmee," he promised. "Let me talk to Lady Bella for a few more minutes."

"I have a new game," Nessie announced.

"What's that, munchkin?" he asked.

"Momma and Aunt Alice!" she exclaimed.

I frowned. "How do you play that, sweetie?"

"Well, you see," she said seriously. "I play as Aunt Alice, and Uncle Emmett plays as Momma. I try to do his hair and makeup, but he argues with me the whole time."

I stood frozen, stunned, while Emmett chortled. "Alright, pumpkin," he laughed. "Go set the salon up. I'll be there shortly."

Nessie didn't leave. Rather, she crossed her arms and stared up at him crossly.

"What?" he asked her. "Oh, right. My bad." He bent to kiss her cheek. Happy again, she scampered into her room.

"Somebody's whipped," I remarked as the kettle started to whistle. I went to the stove to remove it.

He sighed. "That's my point. I don't dress like a freaking princess because I get some kind of thrill out of it. I do it because she wants me to. And I would do anything for her. Besides Rose, that little girl is the most important thing in my life. She's my girl. My munchkin. And if she wants me to dress like a pansy, then I will." He suddenly smiled. "Just to make her happy."

I returned his smile, a surprised and grateful lump in my throat. Moments like these were rare with Emmett. Wrapping my arms around his muscled waist, I said, "Thank you, Emmett. That means a lot to me. She's lucky to have you as an uncle."

He squeezed me tightly. "No problem, little sister. Besides, I'm determined to be her favorite out of all her aunts and uncles. And tea parties, combined with what I'm getting her for Christmas, will definitely give me success."

I cringed. "Emmett, I thought the family agreed on _not_ spoiling her."

"Too late for that, Bells!" he laughed. "She is quite possibly the most spoiled little girl on the planet. I mean, look at _me_. The grizzly bear has been whipped into a teddy bear."

I laughed with him. "True, true."

Just then, the front door opened, and in stepped Edward. He did a double take. "Well, that's something you don't see everyday," he smirked. "My wife embracing my brother, who is dressed like a royal ballerina."

I laughed and walked to him. "You caught us," I joked, taking his hands. "We're going to run away together and join a ballet company. Did you have fun hunting with Carlisle?"

"We did," he nodded. "I bagged a few mountain lions. But he missed Esme and wanted to return to her. And I found that I was missing _my_ two girls. I just didn't know I would find _three_ girls."

Emmett rolled his eyes, and Edward bent to kiss me. "Ugh, get a room," Emmett groaned.

Edward laughed and pulled me into a tight hug. "Why don't you get a mirror, Em? Seriously, have you _seen_ yourself?"

Emmett put his hand on his hip, jutting it out like a woman. "That's _Mrs. Nesbitt_ to _you_," he snapped in his feminine British accent. "And I am simply having a tea party with Princess Renesmee, so you can keep your foul comments to yourself, sir."

Edward laughed. "Yes, ma'am."

Emmett's face suddenly grew serious again. "Uh, Bells? Eddie?" he said quietly. "Can you, like, not tell anyone about this? _Especially_ Jasper."

Edward snorted. "I'm not sure I can make that promise, Mrs. Nesbitt."

Emmett's face contorted into a snarl. "I'd watch it, Eddie. I can easily spill _your_ dirty little secret."

Edward's eyes, freshly golden from his hunt, widened. "Fine," he snapped. "My lips are sealed." He pulled an imaginary zipper over his mouth.

Insanely curious, I was about to ask what in the world they were talking about, but we were interrupted by Nessie. "Daddy!" she cheered as she ran and jumped into his arms.

"Hello, my love," he crooned, kissing her. "How are you?"

"Fine," she said. "Come play with me and Mrs. Nesbitt. I'll even do your makeup."

"Well, then how could I refuse?" he asked, surprising me. "Just let me get a quick shower. I've been hunting with Grampa."

Nessie sighed impatiently. "Ugh, fine. But hurry. I invited Madame O'Hara to tea."

Emmett playfully poked her ribs. "Who is Madame O'Hara?"

Edward stifled a laugh, and the front door opened. There stood a frozen Jasper, his eyes wide and his body tense. He wore a long dress and a fancy hat.

"Uncle Jazzy!" Nessie greeted him. "Uh, I mean, _Madame O'Hara_. Come in! Momma made tea."

It took Jasper a minute to compose himself, but finally he sighed. "I know I look kind of fruity," he said. "But I swear I only dressed up for the tea party."

Emmett sighed impatiently. "No, we understand. You're just as whipped as me and Edward. I mean, look at _me_."

Jasper noticed his getup for the first time, and started laughing so loudly he sank to the ground.

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett rolled his eyes. "Go ahead, steal my tea party strategy and then make fun of me. But I swear if you steal my idea for her Christmas present, we're going to fight. And I'm going to win."

Edward chuckled. "I can top your gift, Emmett."

Nessie sighed theatrically. "Come on, ladies!" she demanded. "The tea is getting cold!"

And like trained puppies, all three men--two in women's clothes and one waiting to have his makeup done--followed the toddler to her tea party table.


End file.
